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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721531">i loved you, so i said i was happy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActivelyWeird/pseuds/ActivelyWeird'>ActivelyWeird</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(bc of hanahaki), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Red String of Fate, Sad Ending, Soulmates, Unrequited Love, Vomiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:46:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,882</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721531</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActivelyWeird/pseuds/ActivelyWeird</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten is in love with Johnny. Of course he is, Johnny is his soulmate. But Johnny already had a boyfriend, and Ten just wants Johnny to be happy. </p><p>-</p><p>For the A Little Wonder Fest</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten &amp; Everyone, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Challenge #3 — soulmates</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i loved you, so i said i was happy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here's my fic for A Little Wonder Fest! As soon as I saw the trope was soulmates, I just had to participate in this round. Huge thank you to the mods for being super helpful during this past month, and for giving me the small extension I needed to finish the fic. You guys are amazing!</p><p>Title is from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S92JDS8VsI">Better Off</a> by SHINee. Also inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwfUgTTIjDs">Diphylleia Grayi</a> by Jonghyun.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kun always seemed to have a calming presence, now that Ten thought about it. He was always the mediator of tense situations and often chose to opt-out of arguments. Kun always seemed to know what to say, without saying too much or seeming overbearing.  </p><p>Ten finishes up the shading on his drawing, smiling a little at how it turned out. Yuta leans over from his seat, gazes at the drawing, and smiles proudly at Ten. </p><p>“I think it really captures his personality,” and Yuta can’t hide his smile that reminds Ten of his mother’s face when he won a national dance competition. </p><p>“Hey, I want to see!” Hendery exclaims, popping up behind Ten and taking a look at the drawing.  </p><p>“Wow, it looks exactly like him!” Hendery laughs, catching the attention of the others. </p><p>“What were you supposed to draw?" Lucas asks. </p><p>“Something calming,” Yuta replies, smiling fondly at the drawing once more. </p><p>Ten turns around, letting the others see his sketchbook. </p><p>Taeyong reaches over and gives Ten a high five. The others give compliments that have Ten blushing furiously. Everyone is laughing and complimenting, except for one, </p><p>“Hey, Johnny, what’s with the face?” Taeyong questions. Johnny lets out a frustrated sigh.    </p><p>“I just don’t see why he had to draw Kun for ‘calming.’ Kun actually helps out with stuff, he doesn’t just sit around like that.” Johnny frowns, looking genuinely bothered, and Ten finds his self-consciousness levels rising. </p><p>“Kun is very calming, Johnny, you’re just being weird,” Yuta says, rolling his eyes. Ten looks at his drawing again, this time with a frown. He picks up his pencil, thinking about what he could fix, but nothing comes to mind. </p><p>“Hey, Ten, it’s fine. You don’t have to change it,” Hendery says. </p><p>“Now look at what you’ve done Johnny. You made Ten feel like shit about his drawing,” Lucas says, Hendery hitting him in the shoulder for his abrasiveness. </p><p>Ten looks up to see Johnny looking at him sadly. </p><p>“No, wait, I’m sorry Ten. The drawing is nice, really. You’re such a great artist, I just didn’t understand why you had to draw Kun, that’s all.”  </p><p>“I-it’s okay, Johnny-hyung… it was just an idea anyway.” Ten sighs, closing his sketchbook, and Johnny looks guilty as the others glare at him.  </p><p>“I’m going to go find a book,” Ten says, and turns to walk away, and then immediately bumps into someone. </p><p>God, what was with him always bumping into people? </p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry about that, man, I wasn’t paying attention,” the guy says in a hurried voice, with a smile on his face. Ten nods, too embarrassed to say something, and was about to walk away when he notices, </p><p>“Oh hey, your um..your soulmate looks like they’re kinda stuck…” Ten trails off, pointing towards a girl who is trying hopelessly to get her bag untangled from a chair. His eyes trace the red string that is attached to both of their ankles. The guy looks at Ten, confused. </p><p>“What?” The guy follows Ten’s eyes, and turns. The girl frees her backpack and stands to leave. The two catch sight of each other, and freeze. They stay like that for a minute, then immediately walk up to each other. </p><p>“Oh my god, you’re my soulmate!” the guy exclaims, the girl tearing up. Ten smiles at the interaction, but frowns as he thinks about how he can slip away from the situation when, </p><p>“Hey man! Thank you so much! But, how did you know she is my soulmate?” The man asks, and Ten’s friends quiet down, finally noticing the conversation that was happening. Ten panicks for a second, but then he notices a connection between the two. </p><p>“C-cases! You both have the same um… AirPods case! Same color and everything! Yeah..” Ten lies. The couple looks towards each other's hands, and sure enough, they are holding identical AirPods cases. The two brush it off, and thank Ten again, then leave together. </p><p>“Ten-hyung, how did you know that their cases were the same color?” Hendery asks, and Ten turns towards him. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Their cases. You said that they’re the same color. How did you know? Can’t you only see black and white?” Hendery asks. </p><p>“Oh… I uh… I can’t. See color, that is! They just… seemed like the same shade to me, they both looked black to me..” Ten says, and the others look like they don’t buy his shit lie. Ten doesn’t blame them, he wouldn’t believe himself either. Ten then notices what book Kun is reading, and his eyes widen. </p><p><em>The Story of the Red Strings of Fate.</em> </p><p>The guys follow his line of vision, and Kun raises his eyebrow. </p><p>“Ten—” </p><p>“I-I have to go!” Ten grabs his backpack, bolts out of the library and ignores the calls of his name. Ten feels himself sink deeper into despair as he gets further from the store. </p><p>He may have just lost the only true friends he has.</p><p>___</p><p>It happens while he is working, because of course. Ten figured that all bad things must just stem from this job. </p><p>It’s Saturday night, and the store is completely packed. It’s full of its usual Saturday night patrons. College kids getting random shit after coming from parties drunk mostly made up the crowd, but there were also some middle-aged men who probably hoped to drink off their sorrows. Ten was cramming for his exams in between customers and looked up when the shadow of a customer fell upon him. </p><p>“Did you find—” Ten paused in the middle of his speech when he looked up into Johnny’s face. He blinks once, thinking maybe he was just hallucinating from a combination of lack of sleep and stress. But no, when he opens his eyes again, it’s still Johnny’s lean figure standing in front of him, an unamused expression on his face. </p><p>“J-Johnny.. you freaked me out. What are you doing here? How did you even figure out where I work?” Ten questions, closing the physics textbook in front of him. </p><p>“Don’t play dumb with me. I’ve known for a while that you work here. I saw your work vest in your backpack months ago, back when we were at the restaurant. I’m here because I’m desperate, and I need a favor.” Johnny seemed serious and stepped closer to the counter, and Ten is becoming increasingly concerned. </p><p>“What is it?” Ten asks. </p><p>“You can see the red strings of fate, right?” </p><p>Ten’s eyes widen, and he looks at Johnny in shock.    </p><p>“W-What, I—” </p><p>“I told you not to play dumb with me, goddammit. After the bookstore, it was really obvious that you could see them. Now, I need a favor, and I hate to ask this of you, but I don’t have any other option. </p><p><em>No, please, no.</em> </p><p>Ten holds his breath, knows what’s coming, but he somehow hopes that he was wrong. </p><p>“I love Taeyong, but we got into another fight about my soulmate today, and I just can’t take it anymore.” </p><p><em>Please, God, no.</em> </p><p>“I want you to cut my soulmate’s string from my own, and Taeyong and his soulmate’s strings, and attach mine and Taeyong’s together—” </p><p><em>Heartbreak.</em>    </p><p>“I want you to make Taeyong my soulmate.”</p><p>___</p><p>It hits Ten a lot harder than he thought it would, at first. </p><p>“I’ll think about it,” he tells Johnny, who looks completely shocked that Ten doesn’t immediately say yes, but he understands. </p><p>Understands that he isn’t just asking to borrow Ten’s laptop or if he could bunk with him for a week while his apartment got painted. No, he’s asking for a complete life change for four different people. </p><p>What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is that Ten is one of those people.  </p><p>Johnny leaves Ten feeling heavy, an odd burning sensation beginning to grow in his chest. Ten returns to his work, but his mind is overflowing with strange emotions. As the night goes on, the burning sensation in his chest gets stronger and stronger, to the point where it’s painful. Ten wonders if he’s actually going through a heart attack when a sudden wave of coldness washes over. He thinks that he’s going to be sick. </p><p>Correction: he is going to be sick. </p><p>Grateful that the crowd has all but vanished, Ten’s feet carry him to the bathroom, where he quickly runs towards the nearest toilet. He pukes his guts out, sharp pains ripping through his lungs as he empties his stomach’s content. There’s a prickly feeling at his throat, and the floral smell is contradicting with the lewd smell of the convenience store bathroom. </p><p>Wait. </p><p>Floral? </p><p>Ten wipes the tears from his eyes, which widen in horror as he sees nothing but pink within the toilet. He reaches in slowly, pulling out a few pale petals. </p><p>Flower petals. </p><p>No.  </p><p>Ten feels his heart thumping in his chest, his mind racing in every different direction. He knows what this is. He’s heard the stories, learned about in school, read plenty of books on it, but it still surprises him. Still knocks all the breath out of him, still makes his heart ache. Of all the things that could go wrong in his life—and Ten has a lot of bad luck—this has really taken the cake.  Ten knows that he was just handed a death sentence by fate, knows that any God out there is laughing at his misery.</p><p>___</p><p>When Ten arrives home from the convenience store, he shoots Yuta a text to let him know that, yes he made it home fine, and, yes he is okay. Even though he very much isn't okay.</p><p>Before Ten can waste his entire night pacing his tiny dorm room, he decides to look up the flower. It had seemed inconspicuous enough at first glance, but boy did Google prove him wrong. Not only was his flower an anemone, but it was also specifically the pink anemone, which meant forsaken love and death. </p><p>Great. Just like him to have that particular flower.</p><p>Ten tries to remind himself of other things, tries to distract himself. There are only a few weeks left of his lease, and he needs to call the landlord of the apartment complex he was going to move to so that he didn’t end up homeless. He still hadn’t finished his final portfolio, and fuck, he still had to sign up for classes next semester didn’t he? Because he’s already a student, he gets first pick. Shit, he can’t let that get too late. </p><p>A scratch in the back of his throat interrupts his planning. Ten tries to clear his throat, a singular pink petal coming up from his throat. Ten feels the tears return as he thinks of Johnny. His soulmate is so in love with someone else, and Taeyong is a good person. Taeyong is always so helpful to Ten and gets him out of many awkward situations. This would have been so much easier if Taeyong had actually been a jerk, but he isn’t. Ten can’t find it in his heart to part the two, at least not by his own hands. </p><p>
  <em>They deserve better than to be torn apart because of his feelings.</em>
</p><p>All Ten wants is for Johnny to be happy, and if that means that Ten isn’t, then so be it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>will link socials once reveals happen</p></blockquote></div></div>
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